Wednesday, 10 September 2008

Physics: The one true science

Today, with the commissioning of the Large Hadron Collider, marked the rise of the Physicist. Forget about those other so called sciences (or as we think of them "arts"), chemistry and biology. Forget about that lapdog tool of the physicist, maths. Today is all about (us) physicists for we have build a really big thing in Geneva that makes really small things go really fast. Coooooool.

It's funny how physicists all over the world are walking around with their (our) chests stuck out, wearing "One Science To Rule Them All" t-shirts. Even those of us who studied it 25 years ago are joining in the gloating and pretending we know what's going on.

Physicists are even getting funny. You may have hear the series of knee-huggingly hilarious particle physics doing the rounds. No? Let me fill you in. But be careful. You may burst out loud laughing in the middle of the office or riding home on the tube. Ready? Ok, here goes.

A neutrino walks in to a bar. "How much is your beer?" it asked. The barman looks up. "To you, mate, no charge".


Still standing? Try this one

Female physicist to male physicist "Do my bosons give you a hadron?"


Ok, here's the killer.

Two photons walk in to a black hole.............


Perhaps we physicist are getting carried away! Oh well, this was our day in the sun. You won't hear from us for another 15 years. Well unless we create a black hole, but even if we do all you will see is thousands of smug looking physicists getting sucked into it, shouting "We did iiiittttttttttt......"

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Heisenberg get's pulled over on the motorway for speeding.

"Do you know how fast you were going?" asks the policeman.

Heisenberg replies "No, but I know exactly where I am".