Tuesday 30 April 2019

Sisters are wonderful...even when hitting you with truth bombs!

Sisters are wonderful aren't they?

My sister is wonderful. Her name is Susan Gill. She passed away unexpectedly, but at the end peacefully, yesterday morning surrounded by all of us who loved her deeply. We are heartbroken.

Sisters are wonderful. They tell you the truth in a way that no-one else in your life can. And Sue was a wonderful Teller of The Truth. Truth bombs wrapped in love and delivered loudly with joy.

I would walk in and say "Hello, Sue."

"Hello, Fatty" she might say, loud enough to ensure that everyone in a fifty mile radius could hear,  "Look at that Fat Belly! Are you still on that ridiculous diet? No bread but chips are okay? It's daft. I've never heard of anything so stupid. You're getting fatter and fatter. Anyway, how are you? You look tired. You look exhausted. You have bags under your eyes. You are working too hard. And you're going bald. HAHAHAHA. Stop working so hard, you idiot.  Look after yourself, foolish boy."

And that was just for starters!!!

Everyone else in your life will dress up their words and position carefully. But a true sister will give it to you straight. From her heart direct to yours. That partner? They are no good for you! That shirt? It makes you look like a clown! That job? They are taking advantage of you! It is so refreshing and you know that it is delivered with love, because sisters protect you. They love you and they won't let anyone hurt you. They won't let you hurt yourself and they definitely won't let you fool yourself. Woe betide you if you start to get big-headed!!! You may think you are a big shot out there, but in here you are just a silly little brother and she's seen you sitting in your pants, crying with snot coming down your nose, so just sit down, shut up and listen.

And Sue was a true sister who loved us and loved life.

Sue loved life and loved the world. We all grew up together in Sunbury and Richmond, and in Kampala, Uganda. She loved observing everything going on around her and was a fount of surprising knowledge from all over the world. A few years ago we went on a lovely and memorably holiday to Jamaica. I can see Sue now, relaxing on a raft, drifting slowly and lazily down the Martha Brae river, one hand in the gently flowing water, the other holding a freshly cut coconut, loving the sunshine, loving life...

But the real love of Sue's life was her late husband, Roger. They met over forty years ago and were inseparably from then on, until his untimely death thirteen years ago. Their devoted sons, mirror images of their Dad, supported Sue every day and she loved them deeply but she missed Roger so, so much. Roger died on the morning of 29th April, 2006. On the morning of 29th April, 2019, Sue left us to be reunited with him.

We hurt beyond words. But they are together again, just as they should be.



Goodnight, Sue. Thank you for the love and the truth.

Tuesday 1 January 2019

New Years Resolution - I aim to achieve nothing in 2019

First day of the year. Time for New Years Resolutions. This year I have one very clear resolution - my aim is to achieve nothing in 2019.

It's not that I don't set New Years Resolutions and go for them. Last year I set some big ones and hit a few major milestones. 2018 Highlights? Yep, we had a few:


So 2018 was a hard driven, milestone hitting year. But I always look for balance. Yin and Yang

2018 was a Yang Year for me. I forced the pace. I had goals. I ticked off milestones. I came. I saw. And I KICKED BUTT. By the end of 2018 I was exhausted. Drained. I need to look for the balance.

2019 will be a Yin Year for me. That's how I live my life. If you know me, you know that I can often be found waving my arms around, performing the 108 Wu Style Tai Chi Form. At the heart of Tai Chi is the philosophy of Taoism, of balance, of Yin and Yang.

Yin and Yang. Soft and Hard. Black and White. Night and Day. Balance is everything.

So after a hard, forceful, Yang year in 2018, I am going into 2019 with a Yin mindset. 2019 is going to be a year of powerful forces and when you are faced with such overwhelming power, Tai Chi teaches you not to try to defeat it with even more power. If you try that, it will break you. You relax into it, embrace it, shape it, harness it and things will happen. The principle of action without action. The things that are supposed to happen will happen.

I will start today by slowing down my breathing, relaxing my body, performing 108 slow, deliberate Tai Chi moves, feeling for the balance, sensing the Yin, as soft as a gentle stream, the sort of gentle stream that has the power to reshape mountains. Wei Wu Wei. Action without action.

So, I am not setting any resolutions this year. I will leave that to you! I am aiming to achieve nothing. No pressure. What freedom!

But if you misunderstand this for thinking that nothing will be achieved, you are very much mistaken. Oh, yes, my friend, very much mistaken...