Tears of a clown

Bruce Willis or Smokey Robinson? Yippie Ki Yay or Tears of a Clown?

Bruce Willis is a real man. Real men don't cry. So they say.

So, where does that leave me? I think I used to be a real man, but I've grown out of it now. It's just a phase I was going through. These days if something is really funny I laugh until my ribs ache. If something is really sad I cry. What's the last film you cried at? This was mine and I don't care who knows it.

I don't know why some people are afraid of tears. They do anything to keep jolly. Stiff upper lip. "Got to keep smiling, eh?"

Why exactly? Why have you got to keep smiling? Is sadness a lesser emotion that needs to be defeated at all costs and replaced with fake laughter? That is a dangerous path to go down.

A chap I knew lived his life like that. A real man. Calm, measured, smile playing on his lips in any situation. Perfect businessman. I admired him greatly and wondered how he managed to glid across the surface of life whilst the rest of us were tossed and turned by the churning seas.

A couple of years ago, I asked a friend "Where's old XXXX these days?"

"Ah, you haven't heard? Apparently he got up one day, left his house, when down to the train tracks and stood in front of an express train. No one expected it."

True and very sad story.

I won't do that. If I am happy you will hear me laugh. If I am sad you will feel my tears. If I am angry you will warm yourself on the flickering flames. Right now, I am wrestling with sadness. I cry every day, deep behind the eyes, but I am finding moments of laughter too and peaceful moments of calm, early in the morning when the world sleeps. I think its natural.

Keep your real men. I will give you the tears of a clown.