Kim Jong-il, Beyonce and me

Kim Jong-il, Dear Leader of North Korea, Beyonce, the bootylicious singer and me - who's the odd one out?

Yes, it's me and for one obvious reason. I am the only one of the three of us that does not have a body double able to stand in for me. Kim Jong-il has long been suspected of having a double (see picture). In fact the latest rumour, repeated in the Times no less, is that he died in 2003 and the country has been run by a double ever since! Beyonce's double managed to fool an art gallery into believing she was the real thing.

The reason I want a body double is that by some quirk of timing, I find that I have eight external meetings, presentations or conferences to attend next week and on Tuesday alone I am speaking at three separate events. I just wish I could send my doppleganger along to some of these and spread the load a bit.

Monday evening I am speaking at a gathering of potential donors to highlight the progress we are making with the Academy that is being built in Hammersmith.

Tuesday morning kicks off for me as a speaker at an event on "Biometrics and Young People" at the Institute of Mechanical Engineering. Then I move on to speak at a workshop organised by the IAAC, being held at the British Computer Society. The day rounds up with me being "guest entrepreneur" at an event organised by Cityzone.

Wednesday sees me getting in to network security discussions at the Technology Strategy Board and then on to a conference entitled Private Data, Open Government at the QEII Conference Centre, Westminster.

Thursday has me delivering a speech to the National Archives, Kew on data retention in the digital age.

And on Friday I head up to Manchester as a keynote speaker at the huge Futuresonic conference that takes place every year.

So you can see why I wish I had a double to stand in for me and share the load. Actually I think there might be two of me somewhere. Last week I received an email saying "Dear Tom....You are invited to an event to meet Tom Ilube....RSVP....Pay £xx". I have of course registered for this event and paid as I am very keen to hear what I have to say.