A few weeks ago I received a letter notifying me that the Prime Minister proposed to submit my name to the Queen to appoint me a CBE (Commander of the Order of the British Empire).
Well, I say I received a letter. Actually my law firm received an envelope addressed to me. Someone in the post room probably opened it and dashed upstairs to hand it to my chap. He then emailed me saying "Tom, we've received an important letter for you". I thought "oh, no, what's this now?". I emailed back asking "can you tell me what it's about?" and he said "no, I think you need to read the letter for yourself". So I tried to put the impending hassle out of my mind as I went about my daily life.
When I finally received the letter my first thought was "HURRAH! I'm not being sued!!!"
It's only then as it sinks in that I really got into The Question.
I call it The Question because it seems to be The Question that people want to know The Answer to. The Question is this - "How do you feel about being awarded a CBE?"
The answer of course is that I am hugely honoured. Also that this is about all the people who have got me to this point. I feel incredibly honoured. And I know perfectly well that there are hundreds if not thousands of people who have propelled me to this point. I tell my students, the brilliant young women of the African Science Academy, that they will change lives, they are butterflies and a flap of their wings can cause tornadoes half way around the world. Well, they have changed my life because if I hadn't started ASA then I would not have received this incredible honour, that's for sure. Thank you, girls!
But, let's go a bit deeper. Let's asked the question again. "Come on, Tom, how do you really feel?"
Gosh. That's a tough one. Well, if you know me well then you know that nothing I do is ever good enough. I am getting better at it but I still find it difficult to accept praise. This is not any sort of false modesty - I know that I'm pretty good at some stuff - but it's probably some deep psychological flaw that would have analysts rubbing their hands together with glee as they lie me down on the counselling couch.
So I really feel like I haven't done enough to deserve a CBE yet. When I list my achievements I know I've done quite a lot, but you asked about how I feel, not the facts. So, I feel like I really need to prove that I am worth a CBE now. The next ten years are going to have to be something pretty special. It's game on! I feel like I've been told "Here. Hold this CBE. But it's not yours yet, now go and earn it" and that's what I'm going to do.
And, really, I felt sad that my Dad missed this moment. He died about five years ago and he would have loved to have seen this day. Don't get me wrong. We are not talking hugs and high fives. Mr N.O. Ilube did not do hugs and high fives. But it is possible he would have nodded his head slightly and said "Go on, boy. You are in order". I felt like I should have stepped up my game a decade ago and perhaps I could have made him proud while he was still here to enjoy it.
But I also really feel like I have been handed a juicy mango and I intend to enjoy it. Have you every eaten a juicy mango fresh from the tree? You plunge your face into it, loving the sweetness as the juice runs down your cheeks and for a few joyful moments you simply stop thinking and just enjoy it.
Yes, I, little Tom Ilube have been handed a great big CBE, the juicy mango of life, and I am very, very VERY PLEASED. THANK YOU!!!!
Well, I say I received a letter. Actually my law firm received an envelope addressed to me. Someone in the post room probably opened it and dashed upstairs to hand it to my chap. He then emailed me saying "Tom, we've received an important letter for you". I thought "oh, no, what's this now?". I emailed back asking "can you tell me what it's about?" and he said "no, I think you need to read the letter for yourself". So I tried to put the impending hassle out of my mind as I went about my daily life.
When I finally received the letter my first thought was "HURRAH! I'm not being sued!!!"
It's only then as it sinks in that I really got into The Question.
I call it The Question because it seems to be The Question that people want to know The Answer to. The Question is this - "How do you feel about being awarded a CBE?"
The answer of course is that I am hugely honoured. Also that this is about all the people who have got me to this point. I feel incredibly honoured. And I know perfectly well that there are hundreds if not thousands of people who have propelled me to this point. I tell my students, the brilliant young women of the African Science Academy, that they will change lives, they are butterflies and a flap of their wings can cause tornadoes half way around the world. Well, they have changed my life because if I hadn't started ASA then I would not have received this incredible honour, that's for sure. Thank you, girls!
But, let's go a bit deeper. Let's asked the question again. "Come on, Tom, how do you really feel?"
Gosh. That's a tough one. Well, if you know me well then you know that nothing I do is ever good enough. I am getting better at it but I still find it difficult to accept praise. This is not any sort of false modesty - I know that I'm pretty good at some stuff - but it's probably some deep psychological flaw that would have analysts rubbing their hands together with glee as they lie me down on the counselling couch.
So I really feel like I haven't done enough to deserve a CBE yet. When I list my achievements I know I've done quite a lot, but you asked about how I feel, not the facts. So, I feel like I really need to prove that I am worth a CBE now. The next ten years are going to have to be something pretty special. It's game on! I feel like I've been told "Here. Hold this CBE. But it's not yours yet, now go and earn it" and that's what I'm going to do.
And, really, I felt sad that my Dad missed this moment. He died about five years ago and he would have loved to have seen this day. Don't get me wrong. We are not talking hugs and high fives. Mr N.O. Ilube did not do hugs and high fives. But it is possible he would have nodded his head slightly and said "Go on, boy. You are in order". I felt like I should have stepped up my game a decade ago and perhaps I could have made him proud while he was still here to enjoy it.
But I also really feel like I have been handed a juicy mango and I intend to enjoy it. Have you every eaten a juicy mango fresh from the tree? You plunge your face into it, loving the sweetness as the juice runs down your cheeks and for a few joyful moments you simply stop thinking and just enjoy it.
Yes, I, little Tom Ilube have been handed a great big CBE, the juicy mango of life, and I am very, very VERY PLEASED. THANK YOU!!!!
